


Deal With A Monster

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Force Awakens AUs [5]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Dark Rey, Dark Side Rey, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, M/M, POV Rey (Star Wars), Past Child Abuse, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Pilot Rey, Rey Skywalker, Supreme Leader Rey, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-06 12:03:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12210900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In which Rey chooses a different path on the Starkiller planet.





	1. The Deal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lisalicious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When she summons Luke's old lightsaber, she's mostly acting on instinct, mimicking what Kylo Ren is doing, or trying to do. He's agitated, she can feel as much. Even summoning the lightsaber to him is an effort. Her gesture is mostly desperation, mimicking what he did as much as she did back in the torture chamber, both times. It's just a matter of needing help. 

_Help me. Force, don't abandon me now. Help me..._

And the lightsaber flies into her hand. Instead of anger, Ren's face softens to what looks like amazement, and then he speaks. 

"It is you," he says. 

And the meaning of it slams into Rey with the Force of an oncoming speeder. Memories return, memories of her and a younger Kylo Ren, probably a teenager, training together, the latter all but gushing over her accomplishments. And so much more. Too much more. 

"You can't be," she says. "Maz never said -- "

"Forget what she said. I thought that we'd lost you." And there's something in Kylo Ren that she never really expected except in that moment, that confusing moment, on the bridge with Han -- genuine emotion. 

He doesn't have to finish the sentence. Rey already knows. They're family. And she can't help but be confused, angry -- why couldn't he have done the same with Han? Han loved him, anyone could see it and Ren still killed him...

Did Han mean nothing to him?

And what about her? She's been waiting for her family for so long. 

"Come with me," he says to her. 

Should she? Is there a way to save him, she wonders, from himself?

Rey swallows. She's aware in this moment that the deal that she's making is more than risky. All of this for the sake of reuniting with a cousin who is very well a monster. A monster who killed his father. A monster who tortured her. A monster who tortured Finn, and committed multiple atrocities. 

And she finds herself taking his hand anyway. 

Finn's on the other side of that cliff that's split apart. She can't reach him now. As much as she wants to, they're good as separated. 

She turns to look at the creature who she's made a deal with, and she says, "Is there any way to get off this planet?"

Ren is stiff in that moment, and he seems to be listening to something. Then, "General Hux is coming."

"Hux?"

"The General of the First Order." Rey can swear that she hears some sort of disgust in there, which makes her wonder what exactly kind of man Hux is to elicit some disgust from Kylo Ren, of all beings. He must sense what she's thinking -- and how she hates it -- because he says, "He destroyed the Hosnian system."

And Rey knows that she's good as sworn herself over to a monster. Two monsters, actually. 

"Be careful of him," Kylo Ren says. 

"Figured that." Rey knows to be careful of both of them. She doesn't want to be careful around her family; this isn't how she pictured a reunion with her family to go. She can remember her images of reunions with her family being joyous, almost fairytale-like, not being all but stuck on a frozen planet with a beast. 

She's good as doomed herself, and she hates it. 

When the shuttle touches down and a displeased-looking redheaded man exits it, Rey enters the shuttle with the man (Hux, she presumes) and Kylo Ren. The shuttle ride is long, and to say it's uncomfortable is both obvious and an understatement. Ren apparently needs medical care after Chewie shot him and Finn managed to land some blows on him before being knocked unconscious -- no, tortured unconscious, Rey tells herself. That's one of the worst parts. Finn, tortured unconscious, and now Rey's joined his torturer all because of...what, exactly? Does she think she can save him? Does she think it's all going to be all right in the end?

The redheaded man is currently piloting. Kylo Ren sits next to her, quiet for a long while before saying, "You think you can save me?"

Rey is quiet for a while. She doesn't know what exactly to say. She knows that memories are coming back, memories of Ben Solo -- younger Kylo Ren, not broken, but whole -- teaching her how to fix things on the _Falcon,_ for example. He wasn't always evil. Once upon a time, he had been innocent. 

"I don't know," she finally says. And that...that sums it all up nicely. 


	2. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ren has to recover from being shot in the side, and Rey has to recover from her own injuries in terms of being thrown into that tree. That's at least the course of action that they both have to take. She doesn't anticipate sharing the medical bay with a monster, but there she is. The First Order doctors bring her food, and she has to admit that it is better than the portions she had on Jakku -- not that that's a high bar.

It's after she's finished her meal for the night that Ren asks her about Jakku.

"That," she says. "Is none of your business. And why do you care?"

"The last time I checked, I thought you were with a couple on Jakku."

"They died." Rey can still remember too clearly -- the illness that took the two closest things to parents she had. And then Han -- taken by a blade. Does everyone she loves die violently or somehow disappoint her? Though in Kylo Ren's case, disappoint is an understatement.

"And then you were left with him. A man who cared nothing for you except for what you could bring him."

"Well...yes." Rey takes a deep breath. "Do you enjoy this?"

"No." Kylo Ren's voice is unexpectedly soft. "I don't."

And the strange thing is that Rey knows that he means exactly what he says. There's a bewildering softness there, the same as what he had briefly in the interrogation chamber. Even the idea of the monster having concern for her, genuine concern, is bewildering and upsetting. It would be easier if he just gloated over what happened to her. Rey doesn't know what to do with his twisted...compassion? Towards her?

Ren continues. "Does that scare you?"

"I fear nothing."

"You fear more than you're willing to admit."

"Stop doing that," Rey says. "Reading my mind. You're getting pleasure out of this, aren't you?"

"I don't."

And that...that surprises her. She looks at him and says, "Even what happened in the chamber..."

"I took no pleasure in it," Ren says. "I've never taken pleasure in torture, and I never will."

"Then why did you do it?"

"To find the map."

"To kill your own uncle." Even putting it that way, it's enough to make her feel sick in more than one way. Her father...did he know what she was going through on Jakku? Did he care? Rey doesn't know. And to think that Kylo wants to kill him...

She doesn't understand. How anyone can just kill their own kin, and even that is enough to make her angry all over again.

"How could you?" she says. "Your own father, who was trying to save your sorry, ungrateful self, and you -- "

"He was an enemy of the First Order."

"He loved you!"

"I know he did." Ren runs a hand down his left cheek, as if feeling the aftermath of Han's touch. And for a moment, a long moment, there's a bit of vulnerability to a monster.

"Was it just not enough?" Rey says, and Ren looks very much alone.

"It was enough," Ren says. "But he was an enemy of the First Order."

"You could have turned back at any time."

Silence. Then, "It's too late."

Is it, Rey wonders. Is it too late? Perhaps she's deluding herself, thinking that she can end up with the family she's always wanted. That everything is going to be all right in the end. 

Perhaps...

"Good night," she says, coldly, and turns over on her side. That night she dreams about her cousin being dragged away by shadows, and her, trying to save him, getting engulfed herself. 


	3. Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo trains Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

After Rey heals and meets with the Supreme Leader himself, she's being trained. She's given a practice lightsaber (red, of course. She wonders if red is the only color that beings like Kylo Ren have for their lightsabers), and she goes up against Kylo Ren. She's almost looking forward to this. The lightsaber in her hand is not as strong as Luke's -- and she wonders what it would be like to actually use it, to actually spar with it. 

She's facing him, and he has the mask off -- under the mask, he looks innocent and almost delicate, she can't help but think. It's a peculiar thing for such a creature to be, but there it is. He has his lightsaber at his side, unignited, resting there.

"Have you ever been taught how to duel, Jaina?" he says to her. 

Rey shakes her head. She's been taught how to fight, of course -- on Jakku, you always have to be careful. It's safe to say that Jakku has taught her everything she's ever known...that which her family and that monster Snoke didn't teach her first.

"I see. We can start from there. It's as good a place as any." Kylo Ren takes a deep breath. "Dueling isn't quite like fighting on Jakku. There are multiple forms, multiple techniques, that take many years to perfect. For now...we might as well start with the basics."

"I know how to fight."

"But what about with the Force? What about with your anger? You have a lot of anger, Jaina. And I don't blame you."

Rey supposes he is right; she is angry. And she's surprised to find that it's not just at him, but at others. Unkar Plutt for how he treated her. Her family, for leaving her. Han, for dying. Snoke, for dividing her family. There's probably more that she isn't even aware of, a whole sea of anger. 

Ren continues. "The Supreme Leader says that anger is the fire in which decisions are made. It hones our skill with the Force, our skill in combat. Back in the days of the Sith, there were actually beings called Marauders who used their aggressive feelings to fuel them."

"You're not Sith?"

"We're not. We're more complex than that." 

"But you're still Dark Side."

A nod from Ren. 

"How?"

"The Supreme Leader has a plan for us all," Ren says. "And I trust him."

"You shouldn't."

"He's far from a bad man -- "

"He's certainly not a good one!"

Silence. 

"Jaina...I don't need to be saved. And even if I did, there is no saving me."

That hurts. Stings, actually. The knowledge that her cousin's saying it, the words he's using...

"If nothing else," says Kylo, "You should hate me. I killed Han Solo, I tortured the traitor. Shouldn't you be...angrier?"

He's right. And as Rey draws on all the anger she has, she finds that beating him is far too easy. She knocks the lightsaber from his hands, sending it flying, and it feels like she's bearing down on him with all the fury that she has, all the anger, all the hate. It's then she draws away, feeling like, somehow, she's been burned. 

She extends a hand to Kylo Ren, and he takes it. He doesn't look angry or humiliated, but impressed, and that just makes her feel all the more like she's been burned. "You did beautifully, Jaina."

Even walking towards the separate quarters that Rey has, she says, "Why are you proud of me? I beat you."

"You're my student. Of course I'm proud of you." A pause. "Besides, being angry at you for beating me would be overwhelmingly petty, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose." They sit on one of the benches. "Why did you kill your own father? Even after what my family did, I would never -- "

"I know," Ren says. "You're playing the dutiful daughter to the hilt. But I couldn't afford that. I had to cut my ties with the Light however possible."

"What do you mean?"

"The Light's always going to be tempting you," Ren says. "Tugging at you, begging for you to give in to it. You must never do so. To do so would mean sacrificing yourself and every value you hold dear."

"The Light..." Rey remembers what Maz said, about the Light having always been there, how she needed to close her eyes and let it in. 

"You feel it?"

Rey shakes her head. She has a feeling that she wants no part of the Light. No part of the Dark either. She's someplace between the two of them instead. She can only hope that she can continue to maintain it for what's to come. 

 


	4. Snoke's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey learns at least a part of Snoke's backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Trigger warning for discussion of child abuse -- all sorts. Let's say this part of Snoke's backstory was invented in 2016, after I had a breakdown, though I am getting better now. We're about to enter a dark realm, so if child abuse triggers you, I advise you to turn back immediately.

Just because the Resistance apparently found the map to Luke Skywalker doesn't mean that the First Order is ready to give up. If anything, they've only gotten more desperate to destroy the Resistance and Luke both. Rey's in Snoke's throne room when she hears about it and she tries pleading with him. 

"You can't do this," Rey says. She knows it's futile, and yet...

Snoke looks at her, head tilted slightly in a way that reminds Rey of one of those strange birds on Jakku. "Interesting. Your father abandoned you and yet you still wish to reunite with him."

"He didn't abandon me," Rey says. _Not technically._

"Who do you think was complicit in your abandonment on Jakku?"

Rey can't argue with him. That's something they never cover in the myths and stories that she's heard on Jakku -- the monster that somehow, is right about everything. 

Snoke continues. "I feel your grief too keenly, young Skywalker."

"Why?" Rey almost wants to laugh. "You were the one who separated me from my family in the first place! I'm good as complicit with a monster who's responsible for what happened to my cousin, and what my parents did to me! It's your fault!"

Snoke is quiet. Then he says, "Am I the convenient monster to pin your troubles on, young one? Your parents didn't fight for you. Your parents didn't come for you when Plutt starved you and abused you. They were good as complicit in your abuse. A training ground for abusers and monsters of the mundane variety, and they left you there."

"They left me with Aaron and Zara -- "

"And left you there for that long," Snoke says. "Don't blame yourself, Jaina. You are far from the only one this happened to. Kylo Ren was also abandoned. The Enclave was a very lovely prison for him, but a prison nonetheless."

Rey can remember. A boy, left on Yavin much like she had Jakku, even just a year younger than she was. 

"You were four years old," she says to Kylo. 

"I was," Kylo says. 

Rey turns back to Snoke. "What do you know of abuse?" she says. 

"Plenty." Snoke says, grimly. 

Silence. And the horrifying thing is that Rey knows that he's telling the truth. 

"How?" she says. 

Snoke goes quiet. Then, he says, "I suppose the best way to explain this is to start at the beginning. It is, after all, as good a place to start as any. I was born on the planet of Milara. At the time that I was born, our planet was under attack by the terrorist Venkar. I say, without exaggeration, without hyperbole, that Venkar was one of the most vicious animals in Milaran history. He bombarded our planet, reduced cities to ashes and trees to flaming brands. Now, Jaina...my own parents were far from abusive. My memories of them are scant, but they were loving. It was not until I fled to the orphanage on Milara that I knew true pain."

"What did they do to you?" It's hard to picture an orphanage that could have created a being like Supreme Leader Snoke. 

"They were abusive. I tell you this not so you pity me, Jaina, but so you understand. Abuse is passed on from victim to victim, survivor to survivor. Abuse is cyclical, abuse is easily spread out. They beat me, they burned me, they whipped me, and then there were...other things they did. They no doubt thought the pleading down the hall was Aldric talking in his sleep."

Rey already feels like she's been hit in the chest. "She...how could she?" Even on Jakku, the idea of that -- it seems inconceivable. The utmost violation, the deepest betrayal of a child...

"Her name was Asha," Snoke says, his voice quiet. "I did not remember what she did until later on, when I returned to Milara. There is a limit to how much horror the sentient mind can remember. How much the body can take. And I know that I was not her first victim." 

Rey can only stare. She can only imagine the amount of horror that this woman, this demon, inflicted on a young child. "Why?" she says. "Why, for the stars' sake?"

"I can only speculate," Snoke says. "I do not know for certain. I returned to Milara and killed her. Not just for myself, but for others she abused and was abusing."

"Good for you," Rey says. It's the first good thing she can think of Snoke doing. 

"I was the only one willing to do something," Snoke says. "Anything at all. The Jedi knew about Milara, knew of the horrors that it went through, and all the while, they did nothing. Yes, Jaina, they did nothing. The legends never told you that the Jedi cared nothing for those they sought to protect. No matter how I begged, how I pleaded, the Jedi looked upon the bombardments and countless abuses that occurred on Milara, and they only watched."

"But that's...wrong." Rey wets her lips. "They could have sent someone. Anyone." A beat. "Where was the Senate when all these horrors were taking place?"

Snoke laughs -- it's a rough, bitter sound. "The Senate! Considering how long they took to act with the planet Naboo, would they have cared anything for Milara? No, Milara was effectively thrown to the junglecats, and I had to defend her. So I returned. Even defeating Venkar, however, my work was far from done. My work is far from done. Every step I take, every decision, is for the good of Milara, for the good of the galaxy -- to make certain that no one has to live in such a shattered galaxy. But the Resistance...the moment I rose to power, they thought me a monster. They live in fairytales, where everyone needs a monster they can slay. To them...I am that monster." Snoke takes a deep breath. "General Organa sees a monster when she looks at me, not a being trying to save his people. There are only two sides in her galaxy -- good and evil. And anyone not on her side is evil. Never mind that her hands have killed as well, that she gave awards for mass murder. How is she considered good and I evil?"

Rey doesn't know what to say. She's still furious with Snoke, and yet she, after his story, can feel compassion for him. "You can stop this. You don't have to bomb D'Qar. Don't..." She bites her lip. "You've become Venkar and you don't even know it. What about Starkiller Base?"

"It was an ugly thing," Snoke says. "But Skywalker...your father needs to receive his punishment."

"What about those in the Hosnian system?" Rey says. "What did they do wrong?"

"They lied to the galaxy about the Resistance. They were far from innocent bystanders. They were complicit."

"They weren't," Rey says. "They were all innocent. As innocent as Venkar's victims were."

Silence. 

"You are naive," Snoke says. "But you will learn."

The door opens, and Hux enters. "Supreme Leader," he says, "Our ships are over D'Qar. We are ready to fire."

"Good," Snoke says. "Fire everything. Leave nothing left."

Kylo speaks up. "Supreme Leader, if I may -- I can block their attack. Jaina can as well. She has experience piloting."

Snoke looks thoughtful. "How much?" he says. 

Rey already feels as if she's on a precipice. After what Snoke told her, she knows Milara has to be preserved...and yet she can't fight her friends. And yet D'Qar can't be razed. If she can stop Snoke from razing D'Qar...

"I have a bit of experience," she says. "I've piloted ships on Jakku before. And...I piloted the Falcon."

"Interesting," Snoke says. "Go then. Get to the hangar -- your TIEs will be there."

It's on the way to the hangar that Rey turns to Kylo. "A very nice save," she says, acidly. 

"I've always had the gift of bargaining," Kylo says. "You did it too, you see." A beat. "You still can't bear to go against those you call friends, can you?"

"Of course not."

"You may have to," Kylo says, and Rey already has a sinking, terrible feeling as to what's to come. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Poe for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Flying a TIE fighter is almost like flying any other ship on Jakku, except for the way it moves. It's broad, sweeping, and cuts through space almost effortlessly. Even as Rey pilots the ship, she would find that it was all exciting if it weren't for the fact that she was going up against her friends.

That's the last thing she wants to do. And yet even firing back at ships that are firing at her, she feels like she already has no choice.

"Jaina!" Kylo's voice, distorted a bit, over the comm. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." The second time that someone's actually asked her if she's all right. She hasn't thought that would happen, not after living with Unkar Plutt for so long. He wasn't one to actually ask about her well-being, to put it one way.

Still, Kylo doesn't have to worry. After all, Rey's been through some dangerous situations on Jakku and survived. She reaches out through the Force to find Finn. There's no sign. Thank the Force. If the Force can grant her one small mercy, it's the fact that she's not firing on Finn.

She's distracted from her haze by the Force shrieking a warning, and she narrowly escapes a blast from a rival X-wing. She fires back, and Kylo fires with her.

The X-wing falls. And Kylo swoops after it even as it falls, and Rey follows. Rey follows, and she swears that she feels something from Kylo, some sort of concern? Anything at all?

They reach D'Qar's ground, and they get out, Kylo pulling a pilot from the wreckage with a peculiar sort of tenderness in his face. The pilot is quite handsome, Rey thinks, with curly black hair and olive skin. Even as she listens, she swears that she can see images emanating from Kylo's mind. The same pilot, younger, happy, vibrant, the sort of smile he has almost like sunlight on Takodana.

"You knew him?" she says. 

Kylo is grave. "Too well," he says, and his voice is unexpectedly soft. 

How, is the question. How does Kylo Ren know this pilot? That's one of the questions that troubles her even as they walk back inside. 

 

 


	6. The Pilot Who Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds Poe's letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They take the pilot to the medical bay, where Rey learns his name. Poe Dameron. She recognizes that name at once -- BB-8's original owner, and the man who had Finn's jacket before Finn acquired it personally. But Finn said that he was dead. How is he still alive? 

Rey supposes that she's going to find out eventually. 

Even as Kylo, now unmasked, looks over Poe, Rey swears that she sees something flicker in his eyes. Something softer. It's a bitter piece of regret and loneliness that she sees here, and she wonders if he realizes how vulnerable he seems without the mask. 

Poe murmurs something. It sounds faintly like "angel", and Rey wonders if it's the shock of the crash or what. Kylo, meanwhile, looks very much disturbed. 

It's the sort of look that he gets that suggests that the name might have struck too close to home.

It's sorting through Poe's things that he brought that she finds the datapad. She shouldn't look, and yet she does. She looks, and she sees the letter. A letter that Poe Dameron no doubt never meant to send. 

_Dear Ben,_

_You're not really dear and you're not really Ben anymore, so I don't know why I'm doing this. It's been days or so ever since you tortured me, and I have this to say:_

_How could you? How could you do this to me? To anyone, actually? I was looking for you, I was looking so hard for you, and you did this to me. All this time you were on Snoke's side, enforcing his will, carrying out his plans. That village on Tuanul -- how were the villagers guilty? What did they do? They did nothing, and you killed them, and for what?_

_And what about Tekka? He was trying to help you, to save you, and you killed him. How could you have done any of this? Why? Why did you do any of this?_

_And it hurts to admit it, but I still love you._

Rey nearly drops the datapad in shock. Someone, long ago, once loved Kylo Ren. Someone, long ago, cared for him. 

Someone still does, actually. 

Rey reads on. She should stop by now, but she's fascinated. She can't help but read on, curious to see what this pilot is like, the pilot who loved the Knight of Ren.

_I still love you._

_Dammit, I still love you._

_I don't think I can even describe it, loving an angel. I don't think there are words on Iego to describe a fallen angel, but you are one. I still remember too well when you were my angel. I love you and I hate you and I will never, ever stop looking for you. Not once, not ever. I will do anything I can to look for you, and I will always, always love you._

_I love you._

_Stars help me, I love you._

_I just hope that this isn't going to damn me._

_Poe Dameron_

Rey puts down the datapad. Somehow, she feels the same as when she touched Luke's lightsaber -- like she's been burned. The pilot loved Kylo Ren. The pilot loved the Master of the Knights of Ren. Even after Kylo tortured him...

This pilot must have the attitude of a saint. 

She turns to look at Kylo. Kylo speaks. "We'd best take it somewhere private."

Rey can't disagree. It's time that she and Kylo talked.

 


	7. The Knight Who Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It's in private that Rey speaks. "I read Poe Dameron's letter."

"I saw."

Rey doesn't know what to say next. Eventually, she settles on, "He called you 'angel'."

"He did," Kylo says. There's the faintest hint of a shake in his voice. 

"How could he possibly love you?" Rey finally says. 

"Well," says Kylo, "It's easy to love when you need someone."

"You're not making sense."

Kylo takes a deep breath. "We...they needed each other," he says. "That's the best way I can explain it. He had been tortured by Lisaris -- Lisaris is one of Snoke's apprentices. Ben had lost someone close to him. So they bonded. So they needed."

Rey can remember. During her brief glimpse into Kylo's head, she had seen a young man bleeding out on the floor, and a distraught Ben looking for life support packs. "That was the man who died? The man I saw?"

"Thomas Delgado." And Rey swears that something flickers in Kylo's eyes, something like the beginning of tears.

So the dead man has a name. So the beginning of Kylo's fall is revealed. 

"There was no way you could have saved him."

"Ben Solo was weak. That's why he couldn't save him."

"No, he wasn't." Rey looks up at him. "He was stronger than you think. At least, I can only imagine."

"That's the key word, isn't it? Imagine. You have no idea what he was like."

"I do." Rey can remember. It's from when he was a child and later a teenager, but she can remember. 

"But not what he was like later. He was a weak man, a foolish, stupid man, and I did a service to the galaxy killing him."

There's a long silence.

"You really think that way?" Rey says. 

"I know it."

"What if he wasn't?" Rey says. "What if he was a good man?"

Silence. 

"He wasn't. And we'd best check up on our pilot. See how he is."

Rey follows, her head still swimming with new information, wondering if there's a way to save her cousin without falling into the darkness herself. 


	8. Angels and Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Poe argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter is so short. I lost the original chapter, and had to retype it from scratch. I hope this chapter is still solid, at least!

Poe wakes, and the first thing he says to Kylo is, "You're not wearing the mask."

"I don't need it," Kylo says. 

"I prefer it that way," Poe says. "I can actually understand you, for starters."

Rey listens to them both, eerily fascinated. The way they talk -- it's like they're concealing their history under layers of meaningless talk about masks. 

She leaves after a while. She has a feeling that this is going to get ugly, really quick. 

Outside the door, Rey hears them argue. She presses her ear to the door, listens to them even as Poe pours out his heart. 

"You got inside my _head_ ," Poe says. "How could you do this?"

"I didn't enjoy -- "

"So you didn't enjoy it," Poe says, sarcastically. "That makes it all okay then."

"I wouldn't have chosen it if I had the choice."

"You always have a choice."

"I had my orders."

"Then you could have defied them," Poe says. "You could have said 'no'."

Silence falls. Then Poe speaks again. "I love you. Stars help me, even after what happened, I still love you. I hate the fact that I love you, but stars help me, I do..."

"Then come with me." Kylo says. "Be with me. Forever. I was such a fool to leave you behind on Yavin, Poe. I won't leave you again."

Silence. Poe seems to be thinking about it -- it's like a whole sea of loneliness is gushing from him. Then he says, "I can't."

"You'll change your mind," Kylo says, and Rey doesn't think she agrees with him, actually. "I know you will."


	9. Bellona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey kills Snoke and takes his place as Supreme Leader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The hunt for the Resistance is still ongoing. The Resistance escaped at D’Qar, but it doesn’t mean that Snoke isn’t going to still look for them. Rey has to admit that she’s afraid for the Resistance, afraid for Finn if he’s still alive, afraid for them all. Snoke no doubt started out with good intentions, but now he’s become like another Venkar, another Palpatine — willing to wipe out the Resistance any way possible. She’s listened to him rant about it, after all.

”They’d overthrow me just to satisfy their own selfish revenge fantasies, their own nostalgia for the glory days.” So Snoke had said during one rant. “Especially the General that leads them. She cares nothing for the galaxy; she just wants to watch it burn.”

Rey doesn’t know if Snoke really realizes how far he’s fallen himself. Does he know? More importantly, does he care? 

He probably doesn’t. Tyrants like him don’t care about the damage they cause.

Meanwhile, Kylo’s still trying to persuade Poe. Rey doubts that Poe can be swayed after he was horrifically tortured, but Kylo seems to think so. Kylo has warped views on this, all of it. That can’t be denied. He wants Poe to come back to him' but how can he after what Kylo’s done?

And in the meantime, Rey plans. She can’t be too obvious, but Snoke needs to be stopped. Unfortunately, she knows that Snoke is, in a way, holding another threat back. 

General Hux. The man who destroyed the Hosnian system, and wants to become Emperor himself. He’s never confided it in her, but she can feel it, the barely restrained powerlust this man has, and the idea of this tyrant being in charge is enough to make her shiver.

So he needs to be stopped too.

Rey can wait. Rey can plan, and plot, and learn. Even in between everything that’s going on, she can wait.

***

It’s one night when Kylo comes back from training that Rey feels the urge to kill Snoke. Just the injuries he’s received — she’s cautious around him, careful, but there looks like a particularly nasty burn scar on his shoulder. She looks at him, disbelieving.

”Did Snoke do this to you?” she says.

”I’m fine.” The way Kylo says it, though, he’s really not fine at all.

Poe actually looks worried. Then, “Ben...that scar looks pretty bad.”

”It’s just a cut,” Kylo says. He’s apparently in too much pain to reprove Poe for calling him “Ben”.

”You said he was training you!” Poe says. Then, “How long has he been doing this?”

”Ever since I joined him.” Kylo says.

Rey nods. “He did it with me too.”

Silence.

“That...monster.” Poe runs a hand through his hair. “Come on, Ben; let’s get you to medbay. Really.”

They do. And behind her eyes, Rey can see images of her killing Snoke. Taking the legacy saber and slicing off his head. The Dark Side howls in Rey’s ears, and she’s angry enough at what he’s doing to the Resistance, to her cousin, that it seems...

Logical.

Yes. It makes perfect sense. Kill Snoke. Kill him before he hurts anyone else. Punish evil. 

She can do it. 

***

When Snoke sends one of his Praetorian guards after Rey one morning, she knows that it’s time to defend themselves. Time for the attack, so to speak. She takes Poe and Kylo aside and speaks to them.

”That man,” she says, “Is just going to never stop until we’re both dead. We have to get rid of him somehow. Even if we have to make it look like an accident.”

”I’m in,” Poe says.

Kylo looks conflicted for a moment before nodding. “If we have to,” he says.

They’ll have to band together just for the moment. Rey doesn’t know what will happen after Snoke is dead. If anything. The best she can do is hope they can resolve things with the Resistance. Peace talks could work. And the sooner she can stop Snoke from doing any more damage, the better.

***

The meeting at Snoke’s throne room happens with lightsabers and blasters drawn, and Rey is dressed in black. Snoke looks down at her, and his voice is full of a calm sort of anger.

”So you turn on me too?” he says. “You and Kylo Ren both...I would have given you the stars themselves and you reject them. They’re not enough. How dare you betray me?”

”I can’t stand by any longer and have you brutalize others.”

”I am doing the galaxy a service.”

”By nearly bombing D’Qar? What about the Hosnian system?”

”Ugly business, but necessary.”

”You’re as evil as he was,” Rey says. “Palpatine.”

”So you say. You know so little, young Skywalker. But you will learn.”

Snoke draws his lightsaber, and ignites it. Rey and Kylo run at him, Poe shooting at him from behind them both. The flashing of their lightsabers lights up the dim throne room, and Rey is mostly fumbling in the dark. Snoke is too strong even for them both.

Then Snoke makes the mistake of talking. “You can’t win, young Skywalker. The Resistance will fall, and you will learn.”

The fury makes it all too easy.

She and Kylo wail on him in that moment, beating him towards the ground, and for all Snoke tries to get up, Rey continues to beat him into the ground. Finally, her lightsaber goes through the Supreme Leader’s heart, and it’s over.

Rey stands over his body, turns to look at Kylo. “We did it,” she says. She laughs, feeling shaky. “We did it.”

They come closer together, and Rey speaks. “This isn’t over, is it?” she says. “Someone has to rule in Snoke’s place.”

She has fallen. She knows she has. How far is the question.

”You could do it.” Kylo says.

And now that she thinks about it, she could. Make things better. Reform the First Order. End the war. She could at least try.

”I could,” she says.

That night, she takes on the mantle of Supreme Leader. And at the same time, she comes up with her Ren name. She is not Rey, she is not Jaina Skywalker. It’s time she left both her scavenger name and her Skywalker name behind. She is Supreme Leader Bellona Ren, and the galaxy is hers to heal.

Bellona, formerly Rey, formerly Jaina, looks about the room, feeling a sort of righteousness and justification.

The galaxy is theirs now.


End file.
